Sex.

The very word that brings forth a flurry of feelings, emotions, and above all else temptations.

We all have some notions of sex and sexuality, so why is it shunned in the literacy world? The novel "Fifty shades of Grey" instantly brings forth nervous chuckles or a quirk of an eyebrow, but what is about erotic literature that creates a certain level of uncomfortable feelings when we talk about it aloud.

We all think about sex. We want it. We crave it.

Our entire genetic make-up is bent upon us  finding a partner to reproduce children. Of course, we don't want to talk about sex bringing us pleasure, and simply doing it because we want to do it.

I grew up in a household that never uttered the word. It was a traditional conservative household; there was to be no swearing, no drinking, and all books and television shows were to be severely censored. Above all else one should never, ever utter the word: "Sex." As a result, when I heard the word or even got the slightest glimpse of it in a television show or movie I immediately became uncomfortable. It was something I was supposed to discuss and discover with my future husband, so as a result it was to be all "hush, hush."

I had friends that slept with their boyfriends in high school. They never really shared their experiences with me, perhaps, it was because they sensed how naive I was. College and later on in University, my friends started to open up to me more about it, but still the conversation was verging on taboo.

With no boyfriends and the only guy my age placing me into the friend-zoned, it became easy to be so ignorant about it. Then one day when I was bored with school work and I looked up anything related to Spock and Uhura, and being the nerd that I am, I stumbled upon a link to a story, unbeknownst to me it was fan-fiction. It was the most beautifully crafted story I had ever read, and I was engrossed with it from the start, but then I came upon a scene that involved SEX. What did I do? I blushed and lowered my phone onto the table. I battled with myself for minutes to continue reading it, because I was in love with this story so much. Time went on, and I continued to read it, taking in the tantalizing language that depicted the scenes and sensations that only a lover can bring. Of course, there wasn't just one sex scene- no, there were multiple. The irony of it all, was I started to no longer blush over the  scenes, it became something natural for the couple to do when celebrating their love for one another. It was sweet and lovely, and I fell in love with it. I remember reading every single story that author published, and found myself disappointed that I had finished them all. The natural conclusion, was to find more, and three years later I can now read a passionate sex scene while sitting on a bus with a cup of coffee in hand. I feel no shame reading erotic literature while sitting beside my friends or family, though I do hate when my tongue just happens to lick my bottom lip or my eyes grow a tad bit darker.

Two years ago I found myself writing my own erotic literature, and to be perfectly honest it took a while to become extremely comfortable with it. Words come naturally to me, as do stories, but it was the explicit detail of the way they performed sex that was difficult at first. I am at a point now where I can write a smutty scene without blinking an eye, it is like second nature now. I can talk about sex with people as well rather freely, something that I could not have done before I discovered fan-fiction. I make dirty jokes and sly innuendos now (a little too frequently). I have come to a point where I recognize I that I am an adult and the word "sex" should not make me feel uncomfortable or shy anymore. My conservative childhood shaped me to be weary of the word, but now as an adult I see it as something that is in our basic human nature.

The problem with erotic literature is that people shy away from it in public. How often do you see someone reading a printed book of one on the bus? Or post on Twitter or Instagram their latest erotic romance read? It is a sort of taboo, something you want to hide and show to the world at the exact same time.

Through my experiences of marketing Cursed I have faced some obstacles. What do you mean you won't advertise my book because it has sex? It is one chapter, for goodness sake's! But no, you cannot put it on your website or promote it online because it has a sex scene. It is the year 2020, but for me it feels like I am trying to publish a book during the Victorian age. Due to my profession I completely understand the desire to not have erotic literature available to the public audience, but if you can promote "Fifty Shades of Grey" everywhere I go, than surely you should have no qualms to advertise my novel. Long rant aside, I think as a society we should seriously reconsider the status quo of erotic literature. I think it should be equal to all the other novella styles out there. After all, the greatest literary minds have written something akin to erotic literature. Yes, it wasn't taught to me in my high-school years, but I sure as hell read them in my undergrad (thankfully). Sex is sex. We should not be scared of it. We should not hide it. There should not be a problem of advertising a book purely because it has a sex scene (a good one at that). Anyways, those are my thoughts of the day. Feel free to comment below or share your own experience of first encountering erotic literature. I would love to read them.

Yours ever so faithfully,

Peter Gray

Looking at my calendar I have realized two months have flew by since the lock-down first began. Two months of nothing but bliss; hours spent in the comforts of my own home reading, writing, and discovering new music. This isn't the case for everyone though. As I reached out to friends across the world, I have discovered that their view of self-isolation is vastly different. Depending on their Government and laws their experiences are varied, rightfully so, as the conditions of the corona-virus differ from country to country. For some of my friends, their shops and restaurants remain open, while others have informed me that they haven't left the house in months. As I continue to listen to their varying tales of their lock-down experiences, I start to wonder if some people's ability to cope with the lock-down are dependent on their personality trait or attitudes towards life. After all, I am currently living at home with my family and I have noticed that everyone is losing their minds except for myself. They long to go outside, to shop, to go to restaurants and walk around the city streets, all the while, I am perfectly content cuddled up in bed with a good cup of tea and a well-faded book.

I have been told a daily routine is the best way to keep up your spirits during this period of lock-down. There are some people that wake up early and carry out an intense workout. There are others that sleep in late and move from their bed to couch to turn on Netflix. I've also heard stories from some friends that it feels like normal life to them, simply because they bravely go to work everyday as if life had never changed since the outbreak of the corona-virus. In truth, I feel indebted to them, it is the bravest and noblest thing to do. We should be grateful for their bravery, for it is those people that ensure we have food in our cupboards and a mode of transportation to go to our "essential" workplaces. As I sit here, wrapped in blankets with headphones over my head to drown out the noise from the outside world, I begin to wonder if I have used my time efficiently. Indeed, I have watched television shows on Netflix, but they have been mostly historically educational drama's such as RTÉ "Rebellion," which depicts the extraordinary times that brought forth the birth of a nation, that is the Republic of Ireland. I have picked up a few books over the last two months, and although they are generally things I have read before during my undergrad or peaceful warm summer days, I reminded myself that to become a good writer you must fill your mind with new words and ideas on a daily basis. John Keats "Selected Poems" is a tiny, frail-like book I keep in my leather satchel whenever I do venture out the house to take a nice stroll along the smooth trails near my house. When I am not reading, I naturally pick up a pen and scribble a few poems of my own to pass the time away. I continue to work on my next book I intend to publish, which is a medieval fantasy novel that deals with the issue of fate, destiny, and whether we as human beings must bend to those rules, or do we have a will of our own?

This lengthy time of self-isolation has allowed me to publish my first book on Amazon Kindle, which is Cursed. I wrote this romantic horror story at the end of October, within a span of five days. Seven months later I altered it a bit more, and published it online in the hopes that it will reach a wider audience. Consequently, this time of self-isolation has been a blessing in disguise for me. I have the ability to write at anytime of the day, without being distracted by my other obligations such as school and work. In essence, these last two months feel more like a dream than anything else. I know it is a hard time for everyone, and yes, I have felt pouts of loneliness and dissatisfaction with life as well. I have experienced good days and bad days, especially when I lost a family member to the virus a few weeks ago. This period of self-isolation isn't easy for anyone, even I can admit to that. All the same, I would encourage you to find a hobby and use this time to improve upon it. Make a goal and set a daily routine to achieve it. Do something that makes you happy, so when this is all over you have something to show for it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel; we just have to take it day by day.

- Peter Gray

Want to know more about the author of Cursed? Look no further, for I have been recently interviewed by the curators of Romantic Hideaway website. By clicking on this link you will be able to read a short exclusive interview and a extract of the story. Be sure to check out their website to see more romantic erotic literature to read during our time of lock down. Please remember to stay safe and stay home.

- Peter Gray

Cursed is now a featured read on the website PRETTY-HOT.COM

For those of you that are unfamiliar with this website, pretty-hot, it focus on the genres of romantic and romantic erotic for readers that enjoy using Amazon Kindle. There are weekly features of up and coming books for readers to discover. I am grateful for them featuring my first novel, and encourage you to check out the website to learn more.
- Peter Gray